Sunday, June 26, 2005

High Tech Beverage - Google Gulp







Everyone's heard of the ever so popular Google search engine. But recently other search engines are employing similar Google technology which they obtained through reverse engineering. So instead Google is staying one step ahead of the game, in many different ways. For instance take the Google Gulp, which is actually a Google beverage that will maximize your surfing efficiency by making you more intelligent, yet less thirsty.

Google Gulp is a drink that Google claims will actually speed up response times in your brain. Your brain processes data by sending neurotransmitters between billions of neurons via axioms running between synapses. This is exactly like a bus traveling on its route between several stops. At each stop someone new will board the bus and someone else will exit. The molecular compound that is found in Google's beverage actually speeds up this process and they claim will make you think faster and even feel better. They then employ an Auto-DrinkĀ™ feature which is installed into the lip of the bottle. As your lip makes contact with the bottle, it will actually "take a picture" of your genetic profile, and reconfigure its molecular composition on the fly, and will also subtly alter your brains patterns to facilitate in even faster cognitive processing. In plain English this means that every time you make contact with the lip of the bottle, sensors will actually read through your base pair genetic data and will alter the molecular composition of the drink, it will then also send out neurotransistors to alter your brain patterns. This means that in theory the drink will taste slightly different for each of us, and everytime you have a sip, your brain is actually slightly altered. As dangerous as this brain chemistry sounds Google claims it is very safe, but they also allow the user (drinker) to turn AutoDrink off. Google is further protecting itself legally by employing a feature by which as soon as you break the seal in the cap of the bottle you send a wireless signal to Googles servers indicating your acceptance of their terms and conditions. Wait, so pretty much this drink has a wireless transmitter built into it, along with nanotechnology to alter a substances molecular composition and the ability to alter your brains chemistry. Sound crazy,that's because it is...Who in their right mind would think of installing these features into a simple beverage. Granted the engineers at Google are simply put "Geniuses" wouldn't it be better if they spent their time curing the world of AIDS or even curing Cancer. Whatever the case Google is still employing its viral marketing used in Gmail which means that the only way you can get a sip of this High Tech Bev is if you are invited to the service. And that can be done only if your one of your friends was previously in the service and they then give you a Google Gulp Bottle Cap. Keep in mind this technology is also still in Beta, but with the power of this technology maybe it is a bit dangerous. Google Gulp hacking will soon come along whereby someone on their computer will be able to hack into your drink and change its composition for the worse, or even obtain your base pair genetic data profile and "hack" into your mind. Crazy....Damn Straight it is. Go cure cancer or AIDS Google.

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